NBA Draft Rumors: Would the 76ers Trade Jabari Parker?

Ah, Bill Simmons. What a fall from grace he has undergone, especially in the minds of the Sixers faithful. The man killed the Sixers all season for tanking, but cheered like hell for his Celtics to get one of the top picks. He’s gone crazy.

In his weekly mailbag, Simmons is at it again. Funny, because this week he posed all of the questions in his mailbag, making him even more crazy..

Simmons made some predictions for the draft and this was one of them tries:

"Prediction No. 1: Utah tries like hell to trade up for Jabari Parker.I’m almost positive that Jabari is the first Mormon who can be described like this: “A little bit of Paul Pierce and a little Carmelo offensively, only if they were more fun to play with, and they were trapped in Rudy Gay’s body if Rudy needed to go gluten-free and hire a personal trainer.” Hey, Sam Hinkie, you love collecting assets like Leo DiCaprio collects models. And you’re not crazy about taking Jabari, anyway — what if Utah flipped you no. 5 for no. 3 and no. 23 and threw in Alec Burks plus a first-round pick-swap in any of the next three years? Would that do it? Any interest? Any?"

Uhm, no. No, Bill Simmons. NO.

Listen, if Jabari Parker is available at No. 3, bet like hell that he’s making his way to Philadelphia, no matter how bad Utah wants him. Everyone is aware that the “superstar” category in this years draft class ends after the No. 3 pick. So, the Sixers are going to trade one of these “superstars” for the No. 5 pick, which is most likely Julius Randle, Marcus Smart, or Noah Vonleh. No way that Dante Exum gets past the Magic at No. 4. If Exum was going to be there at No. 5, I wouldn’t mind this trade. However, he’s not going to be.

Plus, Hinkie can’t keep swapping picks forever. I mean, eventually in this whole rebuild, he has to field a competent team. He can’t just keep stacking picks until the Earth’s core freezes over. Also, who the hell said that Hinkie wasn’t high on Parker? I’m 100 percent confident that no one knows exactly what Hinkie thinks about any of these prospects. Of course, I’m sure he might value Wiggins more than Parker, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t high on him.

There’s such a big difference in No. 3 and No. 5 that this is just a laughable trade situation. Simmons added in ALEC BURKS. Are you kidding me? The man had a nice season, but really? The only player that would pique my interest would be Derrick Favors and I’m still not sure I’d pull the trigger with that scenario. The 23rd pick doesn’t do much for me in this draft either.

Both teams aren’t going to be exactly great the next three years, so I’m not sure if the first-round pick swap does much. If the Jazz land Parker, then they will be on the rise up way fast than the Sixers. Meaning, the Sixers would be almost guarenteed to have a better pick in the draft, unless something insane like the Cleveland Cavaliers happens again.

This trade proposal just seems like the another way for Simmons to try and screw the Sixers again. Someone has to ban this man from writing about the Sixers.

Would you trade the No. 3 pick for No. 5, No. 23, Alec Burks, and first-round swaps for the next three seasons?