A Letter To The Parents Of The Philadelphia 76ers

Parents have been at the forefront of the latest Philadelphia 76ers drama. Here’s two letters written to two dads of players.

Over the course of this season, parents of the Philadelphia 76ers have been under the microscope just as much, if not more than their kids have been. Some of them are incredibly outspoken, and in my opinion, need to quiet down, and become as professional as their kids.

Before I begin, let me say a few things about parenting, and a few things about how I feel about pro sports parents.

I am thankful for my parents, and any time they have stepped up for me. I am not absent from the group of kids that have had their dad stand up for them throughout their childhood. That is necessary. But I also feel like there’s a point where dads have to let their kids grow up and stand up for themselves.

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Secondly, I have firsthand seen appropriate behavior from pro athletes’ parents. I sat in front of Thomas Morstead’s (New Orleans Saints punter) parents at an NFL game, and they were nothing but polite, respectful, and calm. If I hadn’t spoken to them before the game, I never would have guessed they were his parents, just because of how professional they were. I think this is the appropriate behavior for pro athletes’ parents.

For some parents to step out of that high school fan-parent attitude, it’s hard. Some of these guys were playing in high school less than three years ago. It’s a quick transition.

Two parents in particular have become the talking points within the last few days. Jahlil Okafor‘s dad Chukwudi Okafor reportedly was harassing head coach Brett Brown during their game against the Los Angeles Clippers, and didn’t stop until his kid yelled at him and told him to cut it out.

I'm behind Sixers bench, Okafor's Dad behind me - he's nonstop HARASSING Brett Brown. End of half Jah finally told Dad to cut it out.
— Michael H. Weber (@thisisweber) January 3, 2016

Kendall Marshall‘s dad Dennis Marshall went on a rant on Twitter during the same game largely surrounding how the Sixers were being racist in not giving his son minutes. This was following him going on a rant when I asked the question, “Is Kendall Marshall a Sixers bust?” For the record, after Dennis ranted on that article, I asked him on Twitter if he read the article fully, and he did not respond to me.

Here’s some words I have for both of these parents.

Dear Chukwudi,

You’re an incredible fan. I sat a few rows behind you at a Sixers game early this season, and was surprised at how intense you were throughout the whole game. At the same time, I was disappointed, because this is not the typical behavior I expect from players’ parents. I respect the fact that you are your sons biggest supporter, but at the same time, I am concerned with your methods of support.

You’re at every game. You are loud. You are proud. That is fine in high school, but this is the NBA. I get it. Your son is a pro, and playing well, but since he is a professional, he needs his role-model father to act like a professional as well. The “Daddy of a Pro” needs to act like a pro daddy.

You’re quite outspoken, and that can be an admirable trait, but I feel it’s damaged you and your son’s reputation. Had you not have been so outspoken through the draft and this season, you might not have been blamed for your son’s off-court issues. Heck, the issues might not have even occurred. You have created for him an idea that you will take responsibility, and you will protect him, even though he’s a 20-year old pro athlete that should be able to stand up for himself.

This was all bearable, but the last straw was during the Clippers game. You were so loud, and so outspoken, that it was reported by someone sitting near you on Twitter that you called out head coach Brett Brown during the game, and harassed him, while he was at work. It was only when your 20-year old son told you to be quiet that you did. Your son is maturing at a much faster level than you, and that’s a bit embarrassing if you ask me.

Do us all a favor and be a little less outspoken during games from now on. Staying off Twitter might be a good idea as well.

Dear Dennis,

Yesterday started out with you calling out my “Is Kendall Marshall a Sixers Bust” article. You made some good points, but in the end, your Twitter rant against me seemed to be a misinformed one, and one that didn’t actually read the full article. Possibly, you just read the headline.

If that wasn’t enough, you went on a later rant on the Sixers on Twitter. You called out the team on many fronts, which is fine, many have done that already this year, but you then pulled out the race card.

First, you alluded to Nik Stauskas. You asked, “How are you a ‘shooter’ and shooting 27% from three? Can’t guard but play a lot. What do you think the reason is?” Later, you said, “I always said there was racism in sports. White guys in basketball are getting ever chance to succeed even when they aren’t doing sh**”

Since you brought up race, let’s get real about race in sports for a minute. I have a biracial brother, and I’ll agree with you, there is racism in sports. I’m not sure if this was because of his skin, or just because he wasn’t as good as other players, but I’ve seen him be the last player off his lacrosse bench, after all of the white kids have been used. I’ve even seen him be one of the last options on the basketball court of a recreational league.

I’m not saying you’re wrong about racism in sports, or racism in the world. It’s real, and that’s not fair. Racism still exists, but let’s be real about the race issue if we’re bringing it up. The NBA is predominately black, and has given tons of opportunities for black athletes to succeed. If you think about it, it really is a great thing, and lots of young kids are looking up to these African Americans as role models because of how amazing they play on the floor. In a country that has failed African Americans on the front of employment, the NBA has won. And when an owner was reportedly being a racist towards the players of the team that he owned, he was heroically stripped of his team by commissioner Adam Silver and the rest of the owners. The race card in the NBA? That’s a bit of a stretch.

Marshall simply isn’t as good as a lot of the players on NBA teams. That doesn’t mean because he’s black, he’s a bad player. He’s just not a good player right now. He doesn’t take care of the ball, and he hasn’t shown much in his time on the floor.

Kendall, your son, though, isn’t one of those good players. He has played poorly this season, shooting 26% (worse than Nik Stauskas) from beyond the arc, scoring 4.3 points per game (less than Nik Stauskas), and dishing out 3.9 assists per game. He’s also turning the ball over the second-most per 36 minutes.

You are, according to your Twitter, a basketball scout and consultant, but the blinders have been pulled over your eyes regarding your son. That’s awesome, that you can support your son no matter how he plays, but bringing it onto your professional Twitter makes you lose your credibility as a basketball scout. I hate to break it to you–and as a scout, you should already know this–but Marshall isn’t an All-Star level player, especially not right now as he recovers from this injury.

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Additionally, it looks bad for your son that you’re “sticking up for him.” Molly French reported the other night that Marshall “goes to work, puts his head down” despite his cut in minutes, with “no complaints.” I had some respect for Marshall when she reported this, but you’ve taken that and ruined it, at least for me.

Kendall recently deleted his Twitter account, clearly aware of how social media can impact a professional basketball players’ life and status. It’s clear you haven’t learned that lesson.

Conclusion

Both of these dads, and the rest of the Sixers’ parents for that matter, should learn a lesson from last night. Being outspoken on Twitter about your kids isn’t helping them. You might think you’re standing up for them, but often you’re looking delusional, misinformed, and unprofessional. Do like your sons and mature up. Put your head down, keep your business behind closed doors, and do us all a favor by staying off Twitter.