Philadelphia 76ers: ‘Twas the Night Before Tip-off

Joel Embiid | Philadelphia 76ers (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)
Joel Embiid | Philadelphia 76ers (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images) /
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‘Twas the night before Philadelphia 76ers basketball…

At the start of every basketball season, every team is undefeated and fans league-wide are filled with the hope of limitless possibilities. Everyone is a contender and all 32 teams can still have playoff aspirations.

The start of hoop season typically never coincides with the holiday season, so this year we can unleash our inner child and let all of our basketball dreams and wishes mix with the joy and wonder of the Christmas season.It’s the time of year when all of us smile a little more, treat each other with a little more kindness, and try to be the best version of ourselves. Here’s hoping our Philadelphia 76ers are able to dig deep and be the best version of themselves as well.

Enjoy this silly little holiday gift and remember to keep that spirit of magic and joy as we begin this new Sixers season! Have fun, be safe, and have a very Merry Christmas!


‘Twas the night before tipoff, and all through the city

Sixers fans were all hoping that this team would look pretty.

Players watched film of the Wizards with care,

In hopes that first W soon would be there.

The fans were all settled down snug in their beds,

While visions of James Harden danced in their heads.

And Daryl and Elton, future plans still concealing,

Had just settled their brains after an offseason of dealing.

Would this new team be ready? It was too soon to know,

It felt like the bubble had just ended in Orlando.

The last season ended with a fizzle and a sputter,

As our old friend Brett Brown was kicked to the gutter.

The sun down in Disney had shined a bright light

And showed that those Sixers just weren’t up for the fight.

Changes were coming as this team needed mending,

The interviews and rumors went wild before ending

With a surprise candidate so sharp it sent shivers,

And I knew in a moment it must be Doc Rivers.

With more speed than our Eagles, his new coaches came

And he yelled, blew his whistle and called them by name,

“Now Dave Joerger, now Dan Burke, now slick Sam Cassell!

On, Popeye Jones, on, Brian Adams, on, Eric Hughes, as well!

Learn those plays, change that D, let’s get Ben the ball

Then dash away, dash away, dash away all!”

As safety issues and protocols quickly were learned,

Thoughts returned to the trophy for which they all yearned.

To the Complex in Camden his players they flew,

With a much stronger Shake and slimmed down Joel too.

And then in an instant memories flew in like a dove

Of seasons gone by and past players we love.

The unmistakable power and strength of Wilt Chamberlain,

The aggression, toughness, and speed of Allen Iverson.

Billy Cunningham, Mo Cheeks, and clutch Andrew Toney

With mighty Moses Malone, and even Marc Iavaroni.

The Doctor made house calls and soared through the air

Leaving no doubt that a Championship soon would be there.

Fast forward to Hawkins and Dawkins raining threes,

While Thump and Bump knocked the opposition to their knees.

The Bubbachuck Sixers may have hit a buzzsaw in LA,

But the warm thoughts of that team live on even today.

We tore down the team then and turned over the key

To that analytics and Process loving elf Santa HInkie.

After many drafts, moves, trades, and burner phones,

We approach this year now filled with hope and unknowns.

Can Joel get in shape, will Ben look for his shot?

Is Shake Milton for real, will Tyrese Maxey win a spot?

Is a Harden trade coming or is all that just smoke?

With or without “the beard” this team is going for broke.

So let’s embrace all the goodies in our Sixers stocking

And start planning our Brooklyn Nets and Celtics mocking.

Seth, Danny, and Shake will all spread out the floor,

And Jo, Ben and Matisse will lock every door.

Dwight, Scott, Furk and Maxey will bring help off the pine,

And even Tobias, in this system, will shine.

And you will hear them exclaim as they toss up that first ball,

“Let’s go get that trophy, and Merry Christmas to all!”

Next. Ranking every player on the Sixers roster. dark