Litz’s 50 bold and not-so-bold 2017 NBA Draft predictions
Today is the 2017 NBA Draft and millions will be watching. Today, Matt Litzenberg will look at 50 things to expect to occur during tonight’s draft
Today I woke up early and decided to go to the gym in order to avoid getting nervous about the draft. I ended up nearly passing out and went home. This is the second consecutive draft in which I know who the Philadelphia 76ers are taking first overall and I’m still nervous. I’m nervous and excited for this draft. This draft could be a historic one. I can’t remember a draft being this deep from one through 10 in my lifetime. Today I’ll share some bold and not so bold predictions that could come true during this draft
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A Royal Pain
Sixers take Fultz one and the Lakers take Lonzo at two, but both teams run down the draft clock to the end for some reason.
LaVar Ball is on TV five times in the night
LaVar promotes Big Baller Brand shamelessly
Jay Bilas acknowledges that he says Wingspan a lot and tells America to drink up in a corny fashion.
Boston takes Tatum and every Boston fan starts the process of overrating him
Some top five pick says in the draft interview that they are humble — my guess is Josh Jackson
De’Aaron Fox cries when getting drafted by the Kings
Minnesota will take a point guard at seven in order to run the David Kahn offense
Knicks select Lauri Markkanen
Mark Cuban is interviewed and acts really smug about whoever he drafts
Kristaps Porzingis to Phoenix I’m calling it.
Knicks boo everyone in the New York Area at once when the Zinger trade is announced, creating a wormhole that sucks in James Dolan and the City of New York celebrates
Even after this occurs, the Knick fans still boo Adam Silver.
The Kings will take some strange upside player at 10 that they could have gotten at pick 100. Yes I know there aren’t 100 picks, that’s the point
Hawks try to one up the Kings in stupid moves by trading Dennis Schroder for pennies on the dollar.
Hornets take a white guy. This is basically a lock.
Sixers trade up and get another first.
Portland sells one of their firsts and a condo in Downtown Portland to some team with cap space in order to eat the contract of former WOAT 76er, Evan Turner.
Aldridge is traded for a top 10 pick or a very underrated player in the league
At some point in the night, my best friend, Jonny, who’s a big Bulls fan will call me and tell me to stop being smug about the Sixers.
After that, I will have to console him after it’s announced that the Bulls after trading up to select Zack “The Next Cody Zeller” Collins
Denver will take some European guy who comes over in two years and is great for their perennial 8th seed team
Brooklyn takes Harry Giles or OG Anunoby. They need upside guys it makes too much sense not to happen.
ESPN will play some catchy pop song when they go to commercial break that will increase the number of bricks through TVs in the Continental United States.
The Orlando Magic will continue their tradition of short selling their assets by trading Evan Fournier to the Sixers for Jahlil and a Ham Sandwich. (A boy can dream right)
Frank Nitlilkita goes to either Orlando or Dallas.
Brooklyn gets a first this year from Portland for taking on the Allen Crabbe contract
Paul George goes to the Lakers
Clippers attempt to move DeAndre, but every team collectively tells Doc Rivers no at the same time.
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Clippers buy a 2nd round pick and waste it on a player who Doc will cut in early August
Utah tries to package Alec Burks and their firsts in an attempt to trade up in the draft.
Phil Jackson will be interviewed and give some weird explanation how Porzingis doesn’t have Zen and Josh Jackson, the guy who kicked a taillight out in Lawrence, Kansas does.
Jalen Rose continues with his former pro comparisons, which is great because I really like them.
Everyone will mention how the Warriors are “ruining” basketball
If the Lakers can’t get PG13, I can see them offering Luol Deng and a first to Brooklyn
Magic Johnson will be interviewed and will laugh awkwardly a total of three times. No more, no less.
Every analysis will talk about how great Fultz, Embiid, and Simmons are going to be if they are healthy.
Jerry Colangelo will force his son to write thank you notes to all of the Hinkie family for the gifts he received.
Joel Embiid will give Markelle Fultz a pitcher of Shirley Temples as a gift
Embiid will be interviewed at the draft and give the funniest interview of all time
One player will make Adam Silver very uncomfortable on stage. My guess is Dennis Smith Jr.
OKC uses their pick to solve their need of shooting… by drafting someone who can’t shoot.
Nearly every guy who Bilas says has a weakness of a bad motor will bust.
Malik Monk will win best-dressed for the draft.
Bryan Colangelo will be interviewed and claim that he started the process
The city of Philadelphia will then rise up and stage a French Revolution to overthrow him and put Sam Hinkie back in power.’
Okafor will be traded to Brooklyn.
Pistons try to trade their pick for a Vet but realize that they have no cap space and draft at 12.
I can see Miami taking TJ Leaf
Carmelo will be traded in a three-team deal to the Cavs.
This is what I think could happen tonight. Everyone be safe and trust the process.